31st August 2004 Tuesday

Had another video taped presentation today. Think I still did not do well because the feedback from the tutor is still that I lack eye contact with my audience. Well, guess it takes time to adapt myself to presenting in front of a class. Was never a presentation. Or maybe I am as my friend says - "A born dull droning lecturer". *Sigh* Hope I do pull through the business communication module. I am not going to make it with such presentation skills. *Sigh*

Changed my Singtel plan today to the one with free incoming call. Basically to enable my mother's friends to be able to get hold of her even when I am on the internet and thus the phone is engaged. Lagging by a lot of readings and I still have no momentum for studies. *Sigh* Hope the recess week coming in two weeks time do help a little though I doubt so considering that I have a presentation on the recess week too. *Sigh* But guess I can only just wait and see how. *Yawn*

30th August 2004 Monday

Fed up. Very fed up with my law project mates. Can you believe that we spent two hours discussing a tiny question? If you are in my class in any way, please take out your company law tutorial 5 and have a look at question 3. Can you believe we took two hours on that question? Some of my group mates simply have no stand of their own. Can't he say something besides saying ok only? Yawn.

Sorry. A bit in a foul temper today. Really in a bad mood these days. Must be mad already. Must be due to the confusing modules I am taking this semester...... Forgive me......

28th August 2004 Saturday

Didn't turn out much for the project today. Only got a couple of mathematical ratios and a few theories of our own. Really very difficult piece of work we have got there. Hope we do turn out something in the next meeting.

Heard that today my favourite student also never turn up for her lessons at the enrichment centre because she went for the Primary three gifted programme exam. Guess it was just as well this way as I never go to work today anyway. Hope I am able to make it this weekend. Really hope so as it sounds bleak due to the sudden upsurge in the amount of presentations for the various modules I am taking this semester. Hiaz. Really do hope as the chinese old saying goes "the bridge will really turn straight when the boat reaches it". Just pray hard I guess.

27th August 2004 Friday

Rainy day. Why must it always rain when I am feeling lost and sad? What is our goal in living? I am starting to lose focus of my goal if there is one to being with. =(

Read this in one of my mail. Find it very meaningful......

This is what a girl tell a guy

If you see me walk the road with someone else, it is not because I like his company.

It is because you are not brave enough to walk beside me.

If you hear me talking about him all the time, it is not because he pleases me.

It is because you are too deaf to hear my heartbeat.

If you feel me falling with someone new, it is not because I love him.

It is because you are not there to catch me fall.

If you feel lost, I too am nowhere.

I too don't know where the road is going.

Are we gonna cross each other's path?

Or just completely turn around?

Will we just let go of what we had?

Or go to the place where love is bound?

Don't let me walk with him.

It is you I want to walk with.

Don't let me talk of him.

It is you I want to talk with.

Don't let me fall for him.

It is you I want to fall in love with.

This is how the guy replied

When you thought I wasn't brave enough to stand beside you,

I was behind you every step of the way,

still filled with the awe because of the beauty that stands before me.

When you thought I was too deaf to hear your heartbeat,

I didn't want to assume anything

And I was afraid to lose our friendship.

When you thought I wasn't there to catch you,

It was because you never gave me the chance.

You never reached the bottom,

You've already grabbed a branch.

If you feel like you are nowhere, I too am lost.

I too don't know where the road is going.

Are we just going to turn around?

Or are we gonna cross each other's path?

Will we just let go of what we had?

Or go to the place where love is bound?

Don't let me walk alone.

I want to walk by your side.

Don't le me talk of something else.

It is you I want to talk with.

Don't let me fall for someone else.

It is you I want to fall in love with.

26th August 2004 Thursday

One more day to the weekend. Endure..... But then again, nothing to look forward to in the weekend anyway. No work. =(

Me just realised that one of my friends is in the finals of the Channel U idol thing. She is number 14. Must support her. =p

25th August 2004 Wednesday

Just came back from sort of a mini class outing. Expensive buffet, expensive ice cream. The ice cream was nice but I couldn't quite say so for the buffet. Was never into health food. =p 14 dishes and 10 were vegetables. *Bleah*

Simple song with very deep meaning embedded we had in the "Readings in Modern Chinese Song Lyrics" class today. Guess I will never understand the meaning my whole life if the teacher didn't explain it to us. =p Average day for me today but still feeling sad over not being able to work on Saturday. =(

24th August 2004 Tuesday

Quite sad today. Reason being I am unable to go to work this Saturday. Sounds weird right? I am not in the need of money so why am I sad that I am unable to go to work? Well, guess I will miss the small children there. Used to joke that going to work helps me de-tress from the usual work in University life but guess there is some truth to that. And I am going to lose the chance to de-tress this week and in fact add more stress because the reason that I am unable to go is that I have got an accounting project to do with my group. So sad. =( Why can't they do it some other day other than Saturday? They might feel it is dumb working for a mere five bucks per hour and on a Saturday but can't they think it in my shoes? It is not the money that matters. They don't understand. But can't blame them. I don't think there is anyone on this earth who remotely understands me if I don't voice it out. *Yawn*

Why can't I find someone who understands me without me having to voice it out? Must everything be voiced out explicitly? Must every feeling be explained? What if there is no way of explaining it? Or what if I don't feel like explaining? Will I be misunderstood if I don't say anything?

23th August 2004 Monday

No pop quiz today. Luckily. =p

Just finished my Company Law tutorial. A bit confusing. In fact every subject seems confusing this semester. Aargh. Sian. How long more must I lead such a routine life. Wake up, go school, come home, rest, eat, do homework, read textbook, sleep then wake up again. Yawn yawn. Life is boring. Maybe is the lack of a goal or maybe just a personal fault...... Yawn yawn.

22nd August 2004

Lousy day. Still lagging behind with my readings though I did try to catch up a bit. Finished my accounting tutorial though. In a lousy mood because I am very frustrated with the amount of readings I am lagging. Also having a quiz phobia after the pop quiz last week. Hope there won't be one again tomorrow. *Pray* Must do something about the lag in readings soon or I am finished....

Jia wei lost the table tennis match. Lousy lousy day......

21st August 2004 Saturday

Routinely went for work today. Same boring day. Same day wasted with no studying. Hope I make some progress in my readings tomorrow.......

20th August 2004 Friday

How fickle minded can I be? I suddenly decided to take up the research elective again. Now given the option to drop my Prescribed Elective, I decided to try for the project. Hope this won't be a wrong choice that I will regret in future. =(

Boring boring schooldays, boring boring tutorials, boring boring readings that I am so far behind. Yawn. Somehow cannot get my brain to gear up this semester. Hope it speeds up soon or else I am dead......

18th August 2004 Wednesday

Finally made up my mind to give up on the research elective. Think I would do better to concentrate on the subjects that I already have. Besides I have found a new motivation to go for my General Elective but I shall not state what the motivation is. =p

Just finished doing my Derivatives Securities tutorial. Guessed through a couple of the questions. Getting to be more and more difficult the subject. The textbook is a bit too technical for me to understand. *Sigh* Hope I understand it soon. got one more assessment memo to do and lots of readings to catch up. However, I don't feel like doing anything. Lucky I got tomorrow morning off. Hope I get the memo out by tomorrow morning.......

17th August 2004 Tuesday

Been some time since I last blogged. Been busy these days. With the surge in readings and projects, I am having second thoughts about joining the research elective. Well, see how lah. Submitted my application so see whether I am selected.

Watched the video of other group's presentation during "Business Communication" today. Haha. Feels weird to be watching others through a video. Reckon those that are filmed feels the weirdest though. Anyway, my turn will come on Friday. Hope I don't look too stupid on video......

11th August 2004 Wednesday

Went for the URECA event yesterday night. The food was great. Think I might want to just try out the thing. Hope it don't affect my studies considering the huge amount of time I have to put into it. Anyway, think I would just try since it counts as a General Elective.

Been a good boy today. Stayed home and finished a few of my readings. Though I am still a bit behind but I feel accomplished. Finished half a tutorial. Porbably continuing and finishing it tomorrow. Gonna continue reading my book tonight......

8th August 2004 Sunday

Went to work as usual today or rather, yesterday since it is past midnight now. Seems refreshing to see those small children again after another week in school. They are still as cute and as fun as ever though a few that I wished would turn up didn't. Sort of sad that one of my favourite student didn't turn up.

Went to Outram after work and ended up with almost nothing. Don't even know why I went there in the first place. Too bored and nothing to do I guess. I find Singapore a bit small after living here for about 21 years plus. Nothing fresh to see or do around. Or maybe because I don't have much interests. Whatever. Went past a bookshop today and was drawn once again to the fifth book of Harry Potter. Couldn't take my eyes off it. Gotta get it some day soon. But then again, I am gonna have a hard time pining for the sixth book if I finish the fifth too early. I predict it is gonna be at least half more year before the sixth comes out. *Yawn* Till then.......

5th August 2004 Thursday

Woke up and went for a tutorial today at 1030. Waited till eleven fifteen and the tutor did not come. Guess the class got fed up as they started leaving. Me left too only to find in the late afternoon the lecture coordinator e mailing us to say that there has been an administration error and he wants to make up the lesson tomorrow at 1030. I could not make it because I got other lessons. I replied the tutor telling him just that and he says there is nothing he could do and he will carry on the tutorial without us and he will see us next week. Gosh. Hope I won't lag back too much by not going to the tutorial =(

Went for a make up lecture in the evening to make up for the lecture that will be missed this coming National Day. Boring lecture that is so "deep" that I don't uderstand a thing. Guess I am not the only one as I hear a lot of voices around during the lecture complaining about the "deepness" of the lecture. Die die die. Hope I don't die too badly this semester......

4th August 2004 Wednesday

Spent the whole evening researching on the Sentosa project for the Pre Presentation Test. Nearly got a headache from the thinking after so long not using the brain. But glad I got the work churned out well ahead of schedule. I seldom do things till the last minute so a change to the better I guess. Hope the determination to do that carries on but I doubt so.

Missed a chance to see one of my favourite student next Tuesday. My boss asked if I could work next Tuesday but I could not because University does not have holidays the day after National Day. Aargh. Sian. Guess I am not gonna be able to see that student of mine again. At least not for a long long time. Okie. Gotta go rest my brain already. Good night everyone......Zzzzzzzzz

2nd August 2004 Monday

Boring boring day at school. Same old stuff and the same old mind boggling things that I couldn't work out. =( Full tutorial day tomorrow. Luckily I got those tutorials done in advance for once.(At least quite in advance considering that I always do things the last minute. =p) Beginning to realise that this semester I don't have much mood to settle down and study. =(

Received a call from the enrichment centre this afternoon during one of my tutorials and I cancelled the call. Now beginning to regret it because when I called back, the people there told me that the call was from my students who called me to say goodbye as they are going off to UK soon. Too late when I called back. They left the centre already. Sad sad. Anyway, the people at the enrichment centre gave them my mobile number. Hope they remember to call. Well, that's about all that I can do because I don't have their contact. =( Now, what should I do for the rest of the night. Got readings to catch up but I got simply no mood to study today.......

1st August 2004 Sunday

Second week of school starting tomorrow and I feel as though holiday has just started. Maybe because I have not had a proper holiday. Finished "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" today. Beginning to get more exciting I must say. Can't wait to read "Harry Potter and the Order of The Pheonix". Trust it to be good. Gosh. Must get out of my craze soon and settle down to study or guess I am going to die this semester. Got a heavy semester ahead of me with 21 AUs to clear this semester compared to 16AUs each of the last two. =( Hope I pull through. Now for some sleep before I start my second week......