31st March 2006 Friday

Got an email from my audit manager today and was kind of touched that he bothered to remain in contact with me. That mail also sort of made me feel guilty that I didn't really bother to maintain in contact after I left the firm after attachment. Nice audit manager and really hope to meet more of such people after I start work. Oh yah. And I promised to update on my blog if any of Rainie's songs left a deep impression on me so here goes. I think the song "Cute (Ke3 Ai4)" is really really nice. There are also a couple of other good songs in there but they didn't leave a deep enough impression for me to blog it down yet. Hmm. I guess that is about all for today. Don't really know what else more to blog. My life's getting boring. Or maybe it hasn't ever gotten interesting.

30th March 2006 Thursday

Rather happy today. Because I finished my 306 seminar 11 tutorial (because I am presenting that tutorial) and that means that I am free from 306 homework until the week after. This leaves me with loads of time to catch up on what I am lagging. I guess that contributed a little to the happiness I am feeling today. But I guess a major portion of the happiness I am feeling is perhaps linked to me doing my favorite hobby again today - buying CD. Somehow I just love buying CDs. And I don't buy China-imported CDs so that amount to a rather expensive hobby for me. But I do spend within my limits lah. Anyway, I bought Rainie's CD today and I know those of you who don't really like singers along the "cute line" will probably go "Eeee" when I say this. Try not to do it. The monitor might just explode in your face from that shrilling. Anyway, after hearing, I think her album isn't really that bad. There are really some nice songs in there. Will tell you guys more if there are any songs in there that leaves a particularly deep impression on me when I listen further......

28th March 2006 Tuesday

Haha... Guess I will respond to Avarian's tag..... So here it goes......

Five of Life's Simple Pleasures that I love most......

1) Watching the stars late in the dead of the night. I hate to use the word dead together with stars but somehow, it sounds apt here. Love the stars.

2) Watching late night movies with my friends then staying out chatting, waiting for the first bus to arrive. Been ages since I last done that. Anyone want to join me for this after the exams and before starting our hectic worklife?

3) Reading novels with a nice cup of coffee in an air conditioned cafe. I mean novels. I don't mean studying. Studying with coffee and reading novels with coffee is super different. The coffee for the former is supposed to wake you up. The coffee for the latter is for pure enjoyment. But I guess the function of the air conditioning is the same.

4) Watching the sea at night with a couple of close friends. Minus the mosquitoes if any. I haven't really done this yet. But I have always wanted to do so. I think it will be really nice and I will definitely love it. See how much I love the sea? I put it in my top five pleasures that I love without even trying it beforehand.

5) Listening to songs that I like. And I mean both Chinese and English songs. Yes. You did not see wrongly. I listen to English songs too. I mean I don't listen often to them but I do take note if I hear a nice one by any chance.

Okie. Let me see... I am supposed to tag five more people for them to complete this task too. So here goes....

1) Cathayanblood
2) Junyi
3) Kootz
4) Melody
5) Iris

27th March 2006 Monday

今天在藤井树的<<十年的你>>里读到了这么的一段话，让我有了很深切的感触。

我小学的时候，被同学欺负就哭，看卡通影片就笑，被爸爸骂就哭，跟玩伴在一起就笑。然后时间过了，到了国中，突然不哭了，也不知道为什么，可能是觉得自己长大了，哭会很丢脸。但笑还是一样的，打电动的时候是笑的，跟同学出去玩时是笑的，学会自己去电影院买票看电影是笑的。
那时候的笑是真的想笑的，特别轻盈，特别悠扬，特别不一样。
然后高中了，笑一样是快乐的，只是有了烦恼。
有时候甚至会把笑建立在烦恼上面。例如，明明物理考差了，就笑着对同学说：“我是故意的啦”，或是数学不懂了，就笑着对同学说：“是数学背叛了我，不是我对不起它”，但其实在骑着脚踏车回家的路上，心丝竟然纠结了起来，因为数学，因为物理。
然后，高中三年慢得象三十年，大学好像在天的另一边，笑更是在大学后面。从高中开始，笑就模糊了，我也一直没去注意它为什么模糊了。

当笑已不是发自内心，那么笑的意义何在？只是一种行为上的表示吗？那这样的表示未免过於虚伪。虽然自己也逃离不了这样虚伪的行为，但我却不喜欢这样的世界。笑，哭，以及任何的一种情感应该如儿时般的，发自内心。有人会说掩饰真实的情绪是为了不想伤害对方。但是这样的掩饰如果有一天曝光了，伤害不是更大吗？那假设这种掩饰永远不曝光呢？你还是背叛了自己最内心的那把真挚的声音啊。你掩饰了自己的情感不也是对自己的一种欺骗与伤害吗？

好怀念儿时，好怀念那个能把心情挂在脸上的青春岁月。渐渐发现随着成长，我开始学会了把心里话留在心里，学着何时应沉默。只因为有时觉得说出了心里话也不会改变任何的事情，反而可能会令事情更糟。更何况，真正重要的事对於真正在乎的人，有时不需要说，他也会明白。

但这样做毕竟还是会累的。就有如进入大学后的我一样，脾气已经没有之前那么好了。从前的同学曾说我的脾气真的很好，从来没看过我发脾气。对于这样的说法，现在的我只能说一声惭愧。也不知为何，最近就连最微小的事件都能令我非常的烦躁。就拿最近的一个事件说吧。一个朋友才迟到了十五分钟，我就已烦躁不已。虽然没当面指责他，但也给了他不怎么好的脸色。唉。我到底是怎么了？是疲累了吗？亦或是对生活反感了？还是？

26th March 2006 Sunday

当你开始在乎对方的存在，不论是同济好友还是异性伴侣，都象是在下一盘不能输的棋，或许你会知道你的每一个攻守是关键，但你可能会忽略你的对手不只是对方，还有你自己。

~<<B栋11楼>>---藤井树~

爱情是一个陷阱。但陷阱本身没有伤害性，因为让自己受伤的是所谓的在乎。

25th March 2006 Saturday

我住长江头，君住长江尾
日日思君不见君，共饮长江水。
此水何时休，此恨何时已，
只愿君心似我心，定不负相思意。

~<<卜算子>>---李之仪~

若有缘分牵手，就别轻易放手。紧记。

24th March 2006 Friday

Finally got my monitor up and working yet again. Super happy despite the fact that I am so tired from carrying the super heavy CRT monitor home from Sim Lim Square. Thought it was too expensive to take a cab despite the advice from many of my friends. Anyway, managed to survive the haul back. Sort of satisfied with myself. Beginning to feel that not many things are really impossible if only I tried. I know that sound a little exaggerating for a small task, but I really feel that way. =p So I guess I will be back online more often now that my monitor is up again. Feels weird to be without my best friend (my computer) for the past one week or so. Feels like eternity......

20th March 2006 Monday

Hmm. I think this is rather accurate....... To a certain extent.....

the Peacemaker Test finished!

you chose BX - your Enneagram type is NINE. "I am at peace" Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them. How to Get Along with Me If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure. I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this. Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit. Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally. Ask me questions to help me get clear. Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery. Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings. I like a good discussion but not a confrontation. Let me know you like what I've done or said. Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life. What I Like About Being a Nine being nonjudgmental and accepting caring for and being concerned about others being able to relax and have a good time knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe What's Hard About Being a Nine being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally being confused about what I really want caring too much about what others will think of me not being listened to or taken seriously Nines as Children Often feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant tune out a lot, especially when others argue are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves Nines as Parents are supportive, kind, and warm are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test

20th March 2006 Monday

Experienced a lot of "first times" in the last one week. First time typing 7,000+ words in one morning. First time camping overnight illegally in the Free Access Lab. First time getting my matric card number taken down by the campus warrant for staying in the access lab way past its opening hours. First time working on one piece of report for a continuous 36 hours. First time downing two cans of coffee and still feeling lethargic. First time wanting to blog but without a monitor at home causing me to be unable to blog. Lots of first times and I guess most weren't really good experiences. *Sigh* So anyone missed me these few days that I am not online? Haha.

15th March 2006 Wednesday

Been ages since I last blogged and I guess I won't be able to do so as often as before until I get a new monitor. Anyway, this week has been a lousy week for me except the fact that I found the show showing every weekday at 9 o'clock on Channel 8 nice. In particular, I found the consolidation quiz yesterday super stupid. Why did the person who prepare the quiz put a part "(a)" for additional information 3 when there isn't a part (b), (c), (d), etc for that matter. It caused me to mistake additional 4 (b) to be 3(b). I was doing the journal entries and after doing additional information 3(a), I obviously looked for a part (b) and that was what caused the blunder. Haiz. There is nothing worse than the sore feel that you feel when you lose marks in a quiz not because you didn't know what to do or did not have enough time to do. Enough said. Guess I better stop now and get back to my final year project. Back again when I get a new monitor.

7th March 2006 Tuesday

Haven't been doing much blogging these days. A major part of the reason being the fact that my monitor is officially certified gaga by me. It is really hard to blog when your monitor turns off as and when it likes and does not turn on again. And on those weird instances when it stays on, the screen size is about half of what it used to be before, not to mention that the screen is weirdly distorted with an on screen display in the middle of the screen blocking half of what is already left of the screen. So pardon me for the little spelling mistakes that I make here and there in my blog posts these days. They probably belong to the part of the screen that I am unable to see. Anyway, for those of you chatting with me via MSN, you all got to understand if I log off abruptly these days k? That will only mean that my monitor is throwing its tantrum again. I think I probably got to get a new monitor soon. Till then~~~

4th March 2006 Saturday

Why is it such a chore to even be what you really are? Why are we striving so hard to be the person everyone wanted us to be instead of being the person we are born to be? Just as what a quote from "A Cinderella's Story" pointed out - "As if being yourself isn't good enough......" Is that what we call improving ourselves? Or is that what we call social pressure? Or molding by the society? Or is it what we call living with a mask on our faces? I guess the difference is but a thin line......

2nd March 2006 Thursday

I only got 6 for my auditing quiz. *Sob* As what I have predicted, my marginal benefit from luck has suffered tremendously due to the impairment loss recognized in my last financial year. Gosh. But I guess I should quit whining. At least I passed. Anyway, just a 5% quiz so the battle is not lost yet. On a side note, I am rather glad that the long awaited one week break has finally arrived. Though it isn't much of a break considering the many things that we had to do, but at least there aren't lessons on for one whole week. Guess that is the bright side to the holiday. I have sort of learnt to look on the bright side of things. It just doesn't help brooding on something you can't change ain't it? Enjoy the holidays to those who are having the one week break with me. *Smile*

1st March 2006 Wednesday

真话，台词，戏剧；
起码我必须承认，有些话是放在台词里说会比较容易，甚至比较真。
比如说。。。。。。“我爱你”。

~<<一个人的KTV>>---刘若英~