28th October 2007 Sunday

Decided to spend my Sunday a little differently today and took all my work to the library to do. Been ages since I last spent an entire day at a library and it sort of brought back memories of those days when I spent entire days studying at the library. I guess I still love the library as much as the past. And I really enjoyed the feeling of doing work at an absolute comfortable pace at an absolute comfortable place, stopping to rest now and then, feeling absolutely at ease because I know that the work would eventually be done by the end of the day no matter how much detours I took along the way. Well, as it turned out, I finished way ahead of plan, which explains why I am here blogging.

Simply love the feeling of just sitting around and observing the people and surroundings in the library. And I am really surprised to see that I am not only the one who came to the library alone. This really shows that libraries are good company for people with no programs during the weekends ain't it? Haha. In fact, someone I didn't know asked to share my table. And as I found out later on, she actually came alone to bible read. I was really amazed. I mean, how many people come to the library alone nowadays? I would be really impressed if someone came alone to study for exams. But to bible read, that really really impressed me. Oh. And to add something else that impressed me. I was also really impressed by the library security who dutifully patrolled the library ever so often for the entire day that I was here. Lost track of the number of times he made his rounds at the program room that I was in. Well, to summarize I guess this library trip did do me some good. At least I felt better than I did in weeks. Maybe I should make it my weekly routine huh?

同样的图书馆
同样的座位
同样的时间
同样的小说
我想大概只有我会那么一成不变吧

27th October 2007 Saturday

The Church On The Water in Japan is so beautiful. And having that as the grounds for the MV of Fish Leong's upcoming album is simply perfect. Do support Fish Leong's upcoming album release on 9th Nov 2007. Here are some pictures from her official blog that I really liked...

27th October 2007 Saturday

There is a self defence mechanism inside all of us. One that justifies all of our wrongs and makes our conscience feel better than it should. It brings out the smile on our faces even though deep down inside we know that the wrong was never ever corrected. It brings out words such as "Everyone makes mistakes. Who doesn't? I am not an exception"; "I had my good points and I am sure that would over-compensate for my wrongs"; "If he is a friend, he probably would understand"...

Each and everyone of us knew that there is such a self defence mechanism inside each and everyone of us. And we have probably used it at some point or another. However, we fail to see the fact that such a self defence mechanism applies to each and every person in addition to ourselves. We fail to see the fact that while we could self-justify our wrongs when others are hurt, others could also self-justify their wrongs when we are hurt. On hindsight, were all the wrongs really compensated? Were all the wrongs really accounted for and corrected. I guess only the one deep inside your heart has the answer...

19th October 2007 Friday

在线上就看到了静茹新专辑的一首歌的词。
因为专辑还没发行，所以还没机会听到这首歌。
但却很喜欢很喜欢它的词。
人们常说词就是一首歌的灵魂。
我想大概没错吧。

坏习惯维持好几年
每次被你伤装作没感觉
在一起久了什么都随便了
心就这样慢慢被忽略

连要回家都看你心情
什么都是你说了算
夜凉如水我忽然清醒
体贴还不如一些任性

请让我一个人走路回去
我说我可以就是可以
你真的不用表现担心
就省省力气
我决定不再等你决定
我决定今夜想想自己
我决定偶尔也试着去怀疑
是否你的决定我都只能同意

我不怕这样的结局
至少该怎样做我自己决定
再如何伤心都最后一次了
天在破晓之后最美丽

同个路口同一片天空
发现我已不会舍不得
在终於释怀的那一刻
找回了久违的快乐

请让我一个人走路回去
我说我可以就是可以
你真的不用表现担心
就省省力气
我决定不再等你决定
我决定不再等待续集
我决定要在天亮之前冷静
让所有情节从此冻结在这里

请让我一个人走路回去
我说我可以就是可以
你真的不用表现担心
就省省力气
我决定不再等你决定
我决定不再等待续集
我决定要在天亮之前告别
这一段全心全意占有的记忆

[我决定]---梁静茹

19th October 2007 Friday

不曾晓得天空有多蓝，彩虹有多亮丽。
因为不曾停下脚步，抬头看看蔚蓝的天。

不曾见过流星划空而过，留下美丽的弧线。
因为不曾收起心情，卧在辽阔的星空下。

其实这个世界很美。真的很美。
即使只是一个人。。。
努力的这么想着。。。

17th October 2007 Wednesday

你相信天使的存在吗？
天使只能存在与相信的人的世界中。
我放弃了相信天使。
所以天使将不再出现与我的世界中。
所以你不可能是我的天使。

你相信天使吗？
我会是守护你的天使吗？
我能作你的天使吗？

在那我渴望而又触不及的天堂。。。

14th October 2007 Sunday

Learnt a couple of things today

1. Hot coffee that has turned cold tastes significantly worse than iced coffee that is no longer iced.
2. I can stare at aeroplanes landing for hours.
3. Pacific Coffee's (Airport Branch) quote for the day is as meaningful as ever. This was what I saw today - "Be Loyal to What You Love. Be True to The Earth. Fight Your Enemies with Passion and Laughter - Edward Abbey". Didn't know who is Edward Abbey but found the quote meaningful.
4. Quote I saw at McDonalds (Airport Branch) - Coffee bean is not a bean but a cherry. Erm. Didn't know what was the difference but it was obviously something I didn't knew till today.
5. Terminal 3 of the Airport is taking ages to open. Heard it would be open in 2008. Can't wait.
6. My camera phone is as lousy as ever. I can't even take a proper photo of a plane landing when it landed almost in front of my nose. Okie. I exaggerated. But you get the idea of how lousy that camera was. So no photos for this post.
7. My favourite area of Terminal 1 (the area at the corner just after the playground in front of Swensens where you can see the runway and planes taking off.) is going to be closed permanently. The blockages have turned from boards to cement and offices. Sigh. I am going to miss seeing planes taking off.
8. Tampines Library is not beside Tampines MRT station and it is not inside Tampinese mall. But nice atmosphere nevertheless.
9. Loads of new cafe have sprung up in Terminals 1 and 2 since the last time I went. In addition to Coffeebean at Terminal 2, Starbucks has re-opened. And there is a Cafe something right outside the sky train exit in Terminal 1.
10. I don't feel as much as I do in the past. I could even smile to myself even when loyalties are being betrayed. I guess I am getting used to such stuff. Or probably I have learnt not to treasure those that do not treasure me. Or probably I have learnt whose words to believe, whose not to. Or maybe I have simply learnt to take things in my stride. Good thing ain't it?
11. I have another email pal. And one that I can suan.
12. I do not think anybody would seriously read and think about the stuff I write in my blog. I just could not see anybody bothered about it.
13. I love air-conditioned places as far from home as possible.
14. Electronic means of communications are amazing. Amazing how "hahas" and smileys could be communicated when I don't even feel like smiling. =)
15. I am super inefficient. I can stay in the library for ages doing nothing and absolutely nothing.

13th October 2007 Saturday

An Anime, An Old Album And A Long Forgotten Feeling......

A dream.
I'm seeing a dream.
The same normal day again and again.
Waiting for the same morning and returning to the same dream.
Red, White, Cold, Warmth, Sadness and then the day starts over again.
From years ago, I knew it from years ago.
While floating through the endless dream.
While waiting for the dawn that won't come.
I'm sitting at the same place.
A crowd without noise.
Emotionless people walk by.
Nobody notices the figure of a child sitting alone on the bench.
She's waiting for someone.
Someone she knows won't show up.
For someone she knows won't show up for years and years.
I was waiting for years.
Waiting for the dawn that wouldn't come.
Inside my dream.

[Kanon]

没有约任何行程的早上
我喜欢打开每扇窗
迷失在充满诱惑我味觉的厨房
我总是选择最恬静的香
昨天或许有遗憾
明天可能的茫然
我不去想
看谁会紧张
或许你会觉得寂寞叫人难以抵抗
它却带我回到最初的地方

在那里
你我孩子一样
世界都不说谎
心跳充满想像
梦想依然发烫

没有任何人拜访的晚上
烦恼丢在回家的路上
太多的赞美让我快要失去方向
我需要安静独自想一想
我怀疑有谁记得
去年有谁得过奖
那重要吗？
我不这么想
或许你会说孤单叫人有点感伤
它却带我回到最初的地方

[最初的地方]--来自刘若英[很爱很爱你]专辑

8th October 2007 Monday

你是否有过造雪人的经验？那是怎样的一种感觉？是否如[死神的歌谣2]里所述说的一般？是充满惆怅与寂寞的。我没看过雪。更不用说造雪人。但我却隐约能感觉到[<死神的歌谣2]里所说的惆怅与寂寞。很喜欢里头的一些句子。就与你们分享吧。

虽然难以言喻，却觉得好像懂了。
明知道，一定会融化。
明知道，迟早会消失。
但心里还是想着，如果能留下来该有多好，希望明天还在，后天还在，大后天也还在。
在明白了这样的寂寞和惆怅之下，人们还是继续往前走。

虽然，明天可能会消失。
继续往前走吧。
因为，我还存在着。
继续保持微笑吧。
因为，我在这里。

失去的东西往往是最重要的东西。
重要的东西往往会在无意间失去。
虽然残酷，但不要觉得很残酷。
要好好收在心里，往前走下去。
再过不久，冬季就结束了。
接着是温暖的春天。
冰雪即将融化。。。

3rd October 2007 Wednesday

如果没有东西阻挡，就能看到最远的尽头吧。
也可以看到天空中闪亮的星星。
握在手中的东西，究竟是什么？
手中握有的东西，究竟是什么？
失去的太多太多了。
失去的。。。究竟是什么？

[死神的歌谣01]