今天在<<音乐日记>>里就听到了一个关于一个十六岁的女孩的故事。这个女孩患了某种病症。她甚至被医生诊断出极大可能在二十出头就患上所谓的老人痴呆症。你能想象这种恐惧吗？我想她害怕的大概不是病的痛苦，而是害怕会忘记自己的家人朋友吧。你能想象自己有一天认不出自己的妈妈的那种恐惧吗？你能想像自己忘了自己最好的朋友的名字的那种惶恐吗？听见女孩在信里的乐观，我的心不禁也揪了一下。不知不觉间回忆起曾在日剧<<<夏之雪>>里看到的一幕。戏里就有这么的一段对白。
刻在树上的字任风刮
我们都是泡沫轻轻一碰就破
为何快乐会随着成长变得越来越难得到？是我们变贪心了吗？还是对於快乐的要求变苛刻了？我不知道。我只知道快乐应该是可以很简单的。简单的看着夕阳可以是快乐的。简单的望着蓝天大海可以是快乐的。简单的一个人也可以是快乐的。简单的数着星可以是快乐的。简单的收到一个简讯可以是快乐的。简单的望着你也可以是快乐的。简单的吹着晚风可以是快乐的。简单的收到一句问候可以是快乐的。简单的呼吸着也应该可以是快乐的。简单的为一本感人的书落泪也可以是快乐的。简单的吃着泡面可以是快乐的。简单的淋着雨也可以是快乐的。
Today marks the end of yet another semester of my University life. It kind of dawned on me how fast my University life seemed to slip past me. It seemed not very long ago when I was still fantasizing in an army camp about life in a tertiary institution and I will be embarking on my final semester soon. How time flies. Sometimes I wonder what will come to mind years after I graduate and looking back on this phase of my life. Will I recall my foolish old self with a reminiscent smile on my face? Or will the memories of some people come to mind? I wonder who will I miss most after graduation. Well, I guess we will just have to wait to see about that.
忽然发现自己原来是个如此害怕失去的人。或许因为拥有的不多，也或许认为自己根本不配拥有我所拥有的一切，所以害怕失去。人就是这么矛盾。没有时有着想要争取的烦恼。拥有时却有着害怕失去的烦恼。说得好听，失去的东西根本就不值得我们留念。但做起来却又谈何容易。於是紧紧的握住自己所拥有的东西，不让他从身边流逝。但越是握得紧，就越发现不能没有它，而渐而更害怕失去。於是手就越裹越紧，弄疼了它，也伤害了自己。我是不是该放手？放开了你是不是代表着失去了你？还是你根本就不曾被我所拥有？还是我早已失去了你？
我遇到猫在潜水，却没遇到你。
If I had nothing but my soul left, how many of you will still be by my side? How many of you will still recognize me when even I don't recognize myself? I am gradually morphing into something I am not by the environment I am living in. How much of me do you still recognize?
Just wanted to leave a little post for a friend of mine, a friend who has had a real bad day yesterday. I guess it must have been really terrible as she sounded real sad when she messaged me yesterday. I guess I am not really in a position to do much consoling but I really do hope she is feeling better already.
The weather is beginning to turn cold these days with the daily rain. Rain makes me sad but I somehow love the feeling of just watching the rain from indoors, feeling an occasional raindrop hit against me. Call me overly sentimental or a total idiot, but I really couldn't help but feel my mood change whenever it rains. Guess it is just me. Had dinner with a friend yesterday. Guess it must be the pressure and stress that has been weighing on me these days that I somewhat let my defences down a little and started complaining to him about loads of things. During our conversation, one sentence from him left a particularly strong impression. He commented that sometimes I don't open myself up enough. Well, he is not really the first person to tell me that so I guess it is probably true. But I am not really a person that will reveal the true me to others. Guess it is somewhat of a defence mechanism that have evolved in me overtime. Or maybe I was just born with it. I somewhat tend to pull back when someone gets too close to the real me. So if you think you know the real me, think again. How much do you really know about me? I guess part of the reason for me losing really good friends along life's journey is perhaps due to this pull back mechanism. Well, I don't know......
What is the point of contributing extra to your group when at the end when you try to bring out a point that you don't like about them and they brand you as an elitist? Am I wrong to comment about timely delivery of work that has been desimminated? Am I wrong to stress the importance of turning up and being on time for project meetings? Am I wrong to ask them to add anything that they want into the presentation so long as they can justify them? Do you know how irritating it is when people start looking at you and ask you something that they are supposed to find out themselves when you already have loads to do? Do you know how irritating it is when you turn up with your work done and the rest of the members start seraching for mistakes within their work when they arrive? Aren't they supposed to be done at home before the meeting? Do you know how irritating it is when your group agrees to meet and you made the effort to turn up on time and a quarter of your group is late and the other half is not even coming? And at the end of all, when you bring these to their attention, you become the bad bad guy and your work is not reduced but increased?
Have you ever wondered why when a three year old kid whom you have never met before offer you a sweet, you will eat it without any hesitation but why when another adult does the same thing, you will reject? Is it because of the trust in the innocence of the kid that made you convinced that he or she has no other motive behind the offer? Or is it simply you have seen too much people fall into the trap of adults that made you reject that adult? If so, does it mean that human character significantly flawed in the process of growing up? Why can't the grown up world be a world where there are no hidden motives, no sacarsm, no hypocriticism? Why can't the grown up world be a world where everyone is true and speaks their mind? Is it because of the inert need within us to excel in the cold cold world that made us unable to speak our minds? Is it the inert need in us to extinguish all that stand in our way that made some of us betray our fellow humankind and even our own conscience on the route to success?
peppermintgreentea cried @