10th May 2006 Wednesday

Just had the last paper of my University days today. Well, at least I hope it is the last paper as an undergraduate. The feeling of finishing the last paper is kind of mixed. I thought that I would be happy but I felt more lost than happy. I guess HL's theory of a sudden loss in destination kind of makes sense. I guess when we have reached the destination that we have always been walking towards, there is a sudden loss of what else to do next. I guess this is but a feeling of embarking on a new phase of our life. Wait. I am getting too philosophical. But I do make sense don't you think?

Anyway, been wondering what to do now that exams is over. During the exams, there seemed to be so much that I wanted to do after the exams but as with every other time, after the exams, I don't really make these things manifest. Not to mention that I have yet to get company for some of the things that I so want to do. I guess no one is as weird as me to want to do some of the activities that I blogged down a week ago. In addition, friends are going overseas all too soon and Mum is going for cruise yet again this Friday. This time she is bringing sis along with her. I am going to be so left alone for the weekend again. Although there is the consolation of being able to catch the last episode the the 9pm show on Channel U on Sat, I can't really find much reason to be too happy over it. Not to mention that I am still kind of worried over a friend who is still in depression. Maybe I think too much. And sometimes thinking too much either makes me irritable when I feel helpless to the situation or being irritating by being too much of a pest. I hate that kind of a me. But I guess I can't really do much about it can I? I think the only consolation that I am going to get for completing the exams is the big big gift that I promised I would get myself after I graduate. I so deserve it for being to hardworking for three years. Haha. At least I hope I am. This is what we call self rationalization I guess. Anyway, I am still deciding between the ipod Nano and the Zenn Micro. It is design versus functionality. Any advice from anyone. This gift is so going to be my second best friend, the first being my first and only computer that I have gotten myself at end of Year 1 of my University days. I guess the post about me loving machines more than man does make much sense afterall huh?