12th February 2008 Tuesday

First post of the year, if you count by the Lunar Calendar, and I am sorry but it won't be a post full of hype and happiness. Well, of course, if you want me to lie, I could write a post depicting how high I am. But as this is my blog, I choose to be truthful. Been feeling kind of mentally drenched, incompetent and thoroughly demoralized lately. I guess having expectations pile on you coupled with the inability to accept the fact that I keep repeating silly and careless mistake could only equate to insatisfaction and a thorough disgust at myself. And it doesn't help when others think that you are all good and deep inside you know that you might even be below average. As a friend so rightly puts - Happiness is when you stop looking so hard. So perhaps I should just learn to take things easy, don't put too much pressure on myself and disregard what others think. Well, I know it would be difficult given my character but it doesn't hurt to include it as a resolution does it? Or would a change in environment be better? I wonder....