7th June 2006 Wednesday

Haven't been blogging for some time. For those of you who still bother about where I am and what I have been busy with, I have been busy with serving the remaining of my National Service term. (Incidentally if you want to know, as I type this post, I am 19 days from my Operationally Ready Date and if you exclude weekends and leave, I have exactly seven more working days as of today.) Recently I also bought the Final Fantasy VIII game so have been busy playing that game too. This is the first time I actually bought a PC game for myself. Although I have already played that game about twice when I borrowed from YM during JC and army days back then, I can't resist but want to buy it for remembrance. I guess besides the fact that I find the game really nice, part of the buying impulse really lies with the storyline of the game. Somehow, I can really ampathize with how Squall felt at the beginning of the game, aloof and remote to everything else in the world, living in a world of his own. I guess when you are left alone in your world for sometime for some reason or another, when you felt unloved, uncared for, as if no one bothered if you existed, when you are ignored, you tend to build a barricade around yourself. You tend to believe that since you have survived being alone, you can be without friends, without comrades, without a family, without love. And I guess you would probably close the door to your world even when someone comes knocking. And I guess that door will probably not open easily if it would open at all. Anyway, enough about the game and enough about my buying impulse. I don't even know why I am even bothering about blogging these down when I don't feel like talking to anyone but you, don't feel like doing anything but sleep, don't feel like eating anything. When I only want to lie down and forget everything and everyone. Leave me alone.

What if there wasn't a door to begin with?