29th June 2006 Thursday

Been slacking my days away. Last chance to do it before starting work next week. And what happens after I start work? Where would my life steer after this? Realized that I have yet to do some serious thinking about such stuff. Where would I want to go? What would I want to achieve? Or more importantly, what do I really really want in life? Been taking a step at a time in life and have been jumping on the bandwagon for 23 years. It seemed that everything had been pre planned before now. After primary and secondary school, it seemed only right that I got to a decent Junior College, in anticipation of a University degree. And after Junior College, the government mandated that I joined the army for two and a half years. And then, University as planned and now convocation. And now that the so called planned route comes to an end, what happens? As I approach the end of the concrete path, I wonder where do I go next? But wondering gets me nowhere and as it always end, I end up taking a step at a time. And that is precisely what I call wandering about aimlessly in life. And time goes on, whether you have an aim or not. And I do not want to end this life without even knowing what I have been doing with my life. And I do not want to discover what I really want in life at the end of life, when there is no longer time to achieve what I want. I do not want all these. But what could I do? What could I do when I don't know what I want? Or perhaps, deep within myself, I already know what I want? Or maybe there isn't anything that I wanted that I am able to achieve, such that I am not even bothering to try. Well, I don't know. Perhaps it is still best that I take a step at a time......

Someone once told me that I would be really good in that something that would be my passion. The problem lies in finding that something......