7th April 2007 Saturday

Reada Avarian's post of weird random thoughts some time ago and have been wanting to do one of my own. Just to take down the many thoughts that pop up here and there these days. And the urge certainly increased since I have so many random thoughts in common with Avarian. Let's see how many you managed to spot. On another thought, maybe I shouldn't really name them weird random thoughts. Perhaps I should name them - the little things behind what is me...

1) Sometimes I yearn for others to understand me. But I was told I didn't open up enough for people to understand me. But yet, I have always believed in the one who could understand us without the need for words. Aren't I weird?

2) Sometimes when you isolate yourself too much, you tend to become less tolerant of others. Because deep down inside, you start to believe that if you have walked through the darkest of paths alone, you don't need anyone else to accompany you on those paths where light shines upon them.

3) I guess I am probably a failure in life contrary to what others might think.

4) I have very little talents in life. I don't play fantastic sports. I don't interact well. I don't exhibit the confidence that most people show. Hence, I could only hinge on to those few talents that I have and feel afraid that they might leave me anytime.

5) I really wanted people to like me, to appreciate my work and to feel that I am a great friend. But I really did not want praises and publicity because deep down inside I know that I was never as good as people made me out to be.

6) Perhaps I live in a fairyland of my own and believe in things that only sounded too good to be true. But I really wished to live in that world that existed through the eyes of a kid. A world where good things happened to the good and bad people gets punished. Perhaps I am plain naive.

7) Sometimes I know that I am wrong but I refuse to admit it because admitting it would mean crumbling the walls that I have built around myself. Crumbling my only sanctuary.

8) I am so in need of a sanctuary and if I don't get a physical one, I built an emotional one.

9) I start to divert all my attention to inanimate objects because I believe in inanimate objects more than animate ones because I know they are the only ones that would definitely be there with you right where you needed them, anytime, all the time.

10) Many times I feel insecure and get overly sensitive over things.

11) I think too much.