2nd Sep 2007 Sunday

Kept opening and reopening this space and kept wanting to blog something but nothing comes to mind. I guess nothing much interests me nowadays. Not even how others tend to see me which I kind of looked upon too importantly in the past. And the lack of interest probably explains the lack of blogging, or talking for that instance, these days. I guess I am just retracting further and further into my own shell, a shell that I built around me out of disappointment of the world and people around me, and probably out of the same disappointment that people have of me. Unlike what others might think of me and what ambitions, aspirations or dreams that I might possess or hopes that I might carry, I am just your average simple, boring, and maybe a little too boring guy with a simple life and simple expectations. I get turned off by the same kind of stuff, same kind of words and love and concern warms me. But I guess sometimes, the simplest of stuff are probably the hardest to fulfill ain't it? And there grows disappointment from not having them fulfilled and these disappointments just comes back to haunt you in a vicious cycle way until you grow numb from the pain. I guess that is the point where everyone learns. Learns the imperfectness of this world, of the people in this world, of the closest people you have around you and maybe most of all, yourself. And that is when you stop to think, think about all these. And here you will be, staring at your stationary feet and looking at others getting along with their lives. And the world continues with its rotationary routine and life goes on, with or without you. And no one waits for anyone. And you will soon realise that those who leave you were never there for you and everyone leaves in the end. So here I am in my stationary space waiting for the right time to move on with life, richocheting the words of those who were once like me, who have since passed......

Blabbering and blabbering and blabbering and I wonder how much anyone, or me for that instance, know or understand what I am blogging about. Or whether anyone bothered. No one bothers in a sanctuary that belongs to yourself besides the being named "Me" I guess......